This I know to be true

I have been thinking a lot about what I know to be true. I have had a lot of experiences in my life that have shaped me into the person I am today. As I don't mean to make this post a biography of my life I feel that it is important to share some experiences that are dear to my heart as a way to reiterate how I was guided to the truth.

At a young age I found out that I had an older sister named Carly who had passed away at the short age of one. She was born with several birth defects including some holes in her heart. It was hard to grasp at such a young age why she couldn't be in my life and why I couldn't meet her but my parents taught me at a young age the profound truth that I would see her again because families are forever. The one way that I always held on to my relationship with my sister and to remember her was anytime there was a pink sunset my mom would say, " Carly is saying she loves you right now. It has been a sweet assurance throughout my life although I haven't ever met Carly in her physical form she has always been a spiritual angel in my life and is a constant reminder that one day I will see her again.

Through my experiences of learning about Carly I at times didn't understand why she couldn't be with me, why she was taken at such a young age, why god would take a beautiful girl away from her parents but one day I decided to kneel down and have a conversation with my heavenly father. My prayer started with frustrations, anger, but the more I continued to talk I got a sweet assurance that God has a plan and that this beautiful angel was needed on the other side and that even though she lived a short year she lived her life. It was in that moment that truth was brought to me about families, and the importance of prayer. I for so long didn't understand and in the moment I realized how much I had taken for granite. Prayer is such a powerful but yet simple gift we have in our lives. What power what truth comes when we take the opportunities to kneel down and speak to our heavenly father.

Prayer has been a constant guide in my life. It has helped me to make huge life decisions. I know prayers are answered, not always the way that we want but the way that God knows to be right. Before this year I viewed things as impossible but I have come to realize that with God ALL things are possible. I have always struggled with confidence  in myself but this past year I went on a journey within myself I lost weight, I also invested time and energy to run which I still do and I not only completed 1 half marathon but I did 7! And with some amazing people in my life I now view a full marathon as a possibility. If it wasn't for my faith in my heavenly father I probably wouldn't have gained the confidence to do amazing things.

We live in a world which is sometimes cruel. We open magazines which are full of pictures of people who are majority of the times altered to make us feel like we won't ever fit the mold that society has created for us but the most IMPORTANT thing is not the pictures we see in the magazines it is realizing that we all are created in the image of God.  We always feel that we have to fit medias idea of perfection but I will tell you now it is false ; the plain and  simple truth is that god loves his children just the way they are and we all have to believe that the only thing we need to change about ourselves is admitting to the mistakes that we make and repenting through the atonement of Jesus Christ so that we can become more like him.

I know I am not a church scholar but the one thing I know I am a believer. I know that God lives and am so very eternally grateful for the atonement of his son Jesus Christ. and that I can be forgiven of all my mistakes. I know that families are forever and am so grateful for the knowledge of this. I know that Prayer is an eternal tool for us to use in this life to move forward to be with our master again and I would be completely lost without.

In the days that I feel that I am so far from reaching my true potential I know that is the time to kneel down and ask for a bit of extra guidance and comfort. I hope that some things will ring true to some of you. I am so grateful for each one of you and the people that you each are.  We do live in a crazy world with conflict amongst us but it is reassuring to know spiritual giants among me who remind me constantly of my potential and the importance of moving forward.

Another year older...another year wiser

Well people in a week I will be turning 27!!!!! This past year has been so meaningful for me. So many opportunities came my way that I wasn't ever expecting.
First, I was able to lose over 30 pounds which was a huge milestone that I faced. It wasn't only a physical transformation but an overall transformation of my spiritual, emotional being. I gained so much more than I ever thought possible..

Running has been my life. It has given me the opportunity to meet so many amazing people who have helped me to stay motivated to move forward in my journey. It has also been an escape when I need to get rid of some negative energy or feelings. It truly has been a saving grace and I think it  will be in my life until I have too many injuries to run through.
Secondly, I was given an opportunity at my current job to apply for a promotion to work at night. I went back and forth on whether or not to apply but decided that it was the right decision and I ended up getting the job. It has been a positive experience but it has also been a bit hard to stay focused and motivated with the training with running due to my sleeping schedule but I still try to make time for my runs because I have strong hopes of running my first full marathon this upcoming April due to the encouragement of Josh Hansen who might not be my friend at the finish line! lol

As much as this post is very jumbled the one thing that I have learned is this: We often in life place blames on circumstances out of our control. We wonder why things happen to good people, why we have to face trials and why things don't work out the way that we want.
To be perfectly honest I have felt these same emotions. I had to go through a big heart ache this past year and wondered why things didn't work out for me but I know that trials are meant to make us stronger."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" I do want my happy ending. I do want to find my better half but I know that when I do it will all be worth it in the end because he won't only be the luckiest guy but I will be the luckiest girl. I am so excited for this next year of my life because I feel that some amazing adventures will be among me and I already know one will be to run a marathon, secondly I hope to go to grad school and third maybe I will find my better half but all I will say now....is he better be ready to run run run run!
Love ya all! enjoy the journey

Layton City Half Marathon

Well people it was a real challenge to run this race. I started off strong and felt really good but by mile number 3-4 I started to get pain in my knee a bit and then it continued on to my ankles. I was really worried about my back as I had hurt it a couple of weeks before but fortunately it held up for me and was fine but I did have to deal with some emotional struggles along the way.... When I ran this race last year it was my first half marathon ever. It was a huge milestone for me as it was right after I had lost 35 miles and I ran that race so confident and sore but today all the insecurities that I once felt before losing weight hit me like a ton of bricks. I was feeling really insecure, doubtful and at one point I didn't even want to finish.

I hated feeling those emotions and wasn't sure why I was feeling them. Maybe it was because physically I wasn't able to train as much as I normally do because of my back problems or maybe it was because the race represented more.

Everyone thinks that it is awesome that I lost weight  and that I run so many half marathons but running isn't just about getting medals and shirts and all the other bonus stuff that you receive but it represents my continued journey in truly becoming myself. Honestly, I know my weight lost story isn't over and that I have more to work on as I am not fulfilled with where I am at. I am continuing to push myself to be better.

I have learned something important and had a true realization about myself. I am proud to be a single 26 year old female. I know one day I will find my better half and hopefully it is someone who will continue on my journey with me in becoming the person I want to be.. If it wasn't for the people that I am constantly surrounded by I would never have gotten to the realization. I am also a true believer that things happen for a reason.

It is natural to have insecurities about ourself but it is also important to not let those insecurities define us. I am so grateful for all that I have been given and though the tough times aren't that fun I am glad that I can share my story with others. Even though it hard to share some feelings with others I am glad to know that my courage to do so may help someone else reading this.

To truly love oneself is sometimes a hard concept but it is reachable and I am so eternally grateful that when those feelings come up I can feel the loving arms of my heavenly father around me reassuring me that everything is ok and that I am amazing.

This race has made me want to improve and I won't lose sight of one day running a full marathon because I truly believe that anything is possible.

Much Love, Marathon Gal

why I run

I have been asked the question, Why do you Run a lot this past year and as some might think it is a quick answer to me it is a large one. When I was a teenager I hated to run. My father at the time was into running marathons and had ran 3 or 4…I thought he was crazy. I never understood how one could run for 26.2 miles and enjoy it…at the time running one mile was like pulling teeth. I remember vividly going on a run with my siblings and my father on a 2.5 mile run and having to stop probably 6 times along the way and ending the run disappointed in myself. I am a person who likes to succeed. I am competitive in nature but more with my self then  with others. I have struggled at times with my self- confidence and tend to be little myself when I should be building myself up. At a young age I didn’t struggle with weight problems…I was active and never wanted to stop. Life started to have struggles along the way though…moments where I didn’t quite know how to handle certain things such as grasping the reality that I had an older sister die before I was born  or having a best friend deal with the struggles of an eating disorder. At the time the only thing I thought would help was to eat…so I did. And through the years that continued whenever hard times came along such as family members dying or having heartbreak.

 I run because it has saved my life; it has restored the hope in myself that I once lost. It has given me the faith to see the person I truly am..there might be injuries  and exhaustion that come along with running half marathons and marathons but it is all worth it.  I run because why not. The best decision I make every day is tying my running shoes on to my feet because if I don’t make the first step than I won’t accomplish the miles ahead of me. We all have obstacles and mountains we have to climb but the only way that we can conquer the struggles ahead of us is to go straight through them. I might not be an expert runner who places at all the races but I am a runner who finishes what she started. Running might be a small thing to some people but to me it is one of the biggest things in my life that will never go away.

Running past the pain!

So this past week has been a bit discouraging in regards to my running. I pinched a nerve in my back at work the other day which made me not able to run at all. I was in a ton of pain  and feeling very discouraged.

I am so grateful to have so many inspiring and motivating people in my life who helped support and encourage me this past week. I felt the prayers of others around me and the pain began to go away. I still have a bit of pain in my back but it is't to the point of not being able to do the one thing I love the most.

I woke up this morning put on my new hot pink shoes and went running. I knew I better not push myself too much as I want to have a solid recovery and also be prepared mentally and physically for my next half marathon on the 29th. I ran 2 miles which didn't feel like an accomplish but then I realized it was 2 miles I wasn't able to run before so I did succeed. It is hard sometimes to not compare ourselves to other people for me I tend to do it sometimes with appearance or even related to running. I have a dream of running a full marathon but I tend to doubt my abilities and think that will never happen.

 Thanks to the idea from Josh Hansen I am going to begin to make a running journal..documenting the miles that I run, the mood I am in and maybe some randomness on the my journey that i will be sharing with you all on  my blog.

I am getting excited for the 29th and am excited for the experience of running the Layton City Half for the 2nd time. It was the first half marathon that I ran after losing 30pounds and this race symbolizes a lot for me. I often run my races for other people but this race is going to be dedicated to ME..all 13.2 miles are for me...It might be an emotional race but I am ready for the adventure.

take care!

the battle before me

There are often times in our lives that things don't always go as planned. We might face illness, have to deal with depression or might not win at some of life's races. This last week I had to deal with a event that I wasn't expecting. A dear friend-past boss of mine passed away after taking his own life. It was something that a lot of people were blind sided by. I had to remind myself to breathe at times as I was in such shock of the entire event. It was hard to come into work and see everyone so  weighed down by the after events of it all but on a positive note it was amazing to see everyone come together and support and encourage each other. Despite the hard times that have followed because of this sad event it has made me ponder about a lot of things.

When I attended Southern Utah University I had the great experience of being the student director of the women's center. I became involved in the program after one of my best friends had to go through the horrible experience of being raped. During my time of service there...there were several suicides that had happened to college students as well as some adults in the area. I had several people come into my center for support and to release some of the pain they were experiencing. It was really hard to process it all and know how I could help other people deal with something that frankly I didn't quite understand. I had to rely on my own personal experiences and at times the only thing I could think to do was to pray and seek out the extra support and strength that I needed in the hard time before me.

Since graduating from SUU I made it a goal and ambition of mine to help other people. I have worked now at a treatment center for adolescents for the past 4 years and it is probably the best decision that i have made. It has been both challenging and rewarding but it has kept me on my feet for sure. It is hard to understand why someone would take their own life and frankly I will never fully understand but the sweet assurance that I have found by this experience is that he is in a much happier place where he can be with his wife again. I am no one to judge and will never judge him for his decision but it is sad and it has had a huge effect on me and other people and we will have to grieve together for we are all dumbfounded by the experience and through this hard experience we will have to come together for support as well as blessing of knowing that there is life beyond this life and answers will be given there but until then we can't blame ourselves and we can only let the experiences of this life weigh us down to a certain extent.

I am so grateful for so much but the biggest thing I am grateful for is the sweet assurance that I have a Savior who died for me and he went through all the pains and afflictions of every human being and only he can truly understand what every human being faces. When life gets too hard to stand we can kneel down on our knees and be given the sweet comfort that we need in this life to go on.  I would be completely lost without the gospel and am so very grateful that I have it in my life. Yeah, this past week has been difficult but through every difficulty lies opportunity and that is what I have to remind myself all the time.

To all the people that are reading this: I love you and you are amazing and I will forever be grateful for your presence in my life. :)

My Favorite Things

Although it is random I felt today's post should be about my favorite things. So here it goes....

1.Watermelon
2. Fresh Pineapple
3. Snickers
4. Strawberry milk(after a long hot run)
5. Bananas and PB
6. Frozen Yogurt
7. Cookies and Cream : Favorite Ice Cream
8. Cinnamon Jelly Beans
9.  Swedish Fish
10. Nike Free Run Shoes
11. CEP compression socks
12. Bandanas
13. My awesome camera( loving capturing awesome moments in life)
14. Mexican Food( love me some Cafe Rio!)
15. Fruit Punch Gatorade( get tired of Lemon Lime from all the half marathons I do)
16. All my awesome medals from my half marathons
17. My Ipod( obsessed with music)
18. My Garmin watch
19. My bed after working all night!
20. All the awesome people in my life that make me laugh :)