Layton City Half Marathon

Well people it was a real challenge to run this race. I started off strong and felt really good but by mile number 3-4 I started to get pain in my knee a bit and then it continued on to my ankles. I was really worried about my back as I had hurt it a couple of weeks before but fortunately it held up for me and was fine but I did have to deal with some emotional struggles along the way.... When I ran this race last year it was my first half marathon ever. It was a huge milestone for me as it was right after I had lost 35 miles and I ran that race so confident and sore but today all the insecurities that I once felt before losing weight hit me like a ton of bricks. I was feeling really insecure, doubtful and at one point I didn't even want to finish.

I hated feeling those emotions and wasn't sure why I was feeling them. Maybe it was because physically I wasn't able to train as much as I normally do because of my back problems or maybe it was because the race represented more.

Everyone thinks that it is awesome that I lost weight  and that I run so many half marathons but running isn't just about getting medals and shirts and all the other bonus stuff that you receive but it represents my continued journey in truly becoming myself. Honestly, I know my weight lost story isn't over and that I have more to work on as I am not fulfilled with where I am at. I am continuing to push myself to be better.

I have learned something important and had a true realization about myself. I am proud to be a single 26 year old female. I know one day I will find my better half and hopefully it is someone who will continue on my journey with me in becoming the person I want to be.. If it wasn't for the people that I am constantly surrounded by I would never have gotten to the realization. I am also a true believer that things happen for a reason.

It is natural to have insecurities about ourself but it is also important to not let those insecurities define us. I am so grateful for all that I have been given and though the tough times aren't that fun I am glad that I can share my story with others. Even though it hard to share some feelings with others I am glad to know that my courage to do so may help someone else reading this.

To truly love oneself is sometimes a hard concept but it is reachable and I am so eternally grateful that when those feelings come up I can feel the loving arms of my heavenly father around me reassuring me that everything is ok and that I am amazing.

This race has made me want to improve and I won't lose sight of one day running a full marathon because I truly believe that anything is possible.

Much Love, Marathon Gal

why I run

I have been asked the question, Why do you Run a lot this past year and as some might think it is a quick answer to me it is a large one. When I was a teenager I hated to run. My father at the time was into running marathons and had ran 3 or 4…I thought he was crazy. I never understood how one could run for 26.2 miles and enjoy it…at the time running one mile was like pulling teeth. I remember vividly going on a run with my siblings and my father on a 2.5 mile run and having to stop probably 6 times along the way and ending the run disappointed in myself. I am a person who likes to succeed. I am competitive in nature but more with my self then  with others. I have struggled at times with my self- confidence and tend to be little myself when I should be building myself up. At a young age I didn’t struggle with weight problems…I was active and never wanted to stop. Life started to have struggles along the way though…moments where I didn’t quite know how to handle certain things such as grasping the reality that I had an older sister die before I was born  or having a best friend deal with the struggles of an eating disorder. At the time the only thing I thought would help was to eat…so I did. And through the years that continued whenever hard times came along such as family members dying or having heartbreak.

 I run because it has saved my life; it has restored the hope in myself that I once lost. It has given me the faith to see the person I truly am..there might be injuries  and exhaustion that come along with running half marathons and marathons but it is all worth it.  I run because why not. The best decision I make every day is tying my running shoes on to my feet because if I don’t make the first step than I won’t accomplish the miles ahead of me. We all have obstacles and mountains we have to climb but the only way that we can conquer the struggles ahead of us is to go straight through them. I might not be an expert runner who places at all the races but I am a runner who finishes what she started. Running might be a small thing to some people but to me it is one of the biggest things in my life that will never go away.

Running past the pain!

So this past week has been a bit discouraging in regards to my running. I pinched a nerve in my back at work the other day which made me not able to run at all. I was in a ton of pain  and feeling very discouraged.

I am so grateful to have so many inspiring and motivating people in my life who helped support and encourage me this past week. I felt the prayers of others around me and the pain began to go away. I still have a bit of pain in my back but it is't to the point of not being able to do the one thing I love the most.

I woke up this morning put on my new hot pink shoes and went running. I knew I better not push myself too much as I want to have a solid recovery and also be prepared mentally and physically for my next half marathon on the 29th. I ran 2 miles which didn't feel like an accomplish but then I realized it was 2 miles I wasn't able to run before so I did succeed. It is hard sometimes to not compare ourselves to other people for me I tend to do it sometimes with appearance or even related to running. I have a dream of running a full marathon but I tend to doubt my abilities and think that will never happen.

 Thanks to the idea from Josh Hansen I am going to begin to make a running journal..documenting the miles that I run, the mood I am in and maybe some randomness on the my journey that i will be sharing with you all on  my blog.

I am getting excited for the 29th and am excited for the experience of running the Layton City Half for the 2nd time. It was the first half marathon that I ran after losing 30pounds and this race symbolizes a lot for me. I often run my races for other people but this race is going to be dedicated to ME..all 13.2 miles are for me...It might be an emotional race but I am ready for the adventure.

take care!