Well people it was a real challenge to run this race. I started off strong and felt really good but by mile number 3-4 I started to get pain in my knee a bit and then it continued on to my ankles. I was really worried about my back as I had hurt it a couple of weeks before but fortunately it held up for me and was fine but I did have to deal with some emotional struggles along the way.... When I ran this race last year it was my first half marathon ever. It was a huge milestone for me as it was right after I had lost 35 miles and I ran that race so confident and sore but today all the insecurities that I once felt before losing weight hit me like a ton of bricks. I was feeling really insecure, doubtful and at one point I didn't even want to finish.
I hated feeling those emotions and wasn't sure why I was feeling them. Maybe it was because physically I wasn't able to train as much as I normally do because of my back problems or maybe it was because the race represented more.
Everyone thinks that it is awesome that I lost weight and that I run so many half marathons but running isn't just about getting medals and shirts and all the other bonus stuff that you receive but it represents my continued journey in truly becoming myself. Honestly, I know my weight lost story isn't over and that I have more to work on as I am not fulfilled with where I am at. I am continuing to push myself to be better.
I have learned something important and had a true realization about myself. I am proud to be a single 26 year old female. I know one day I will find my better half and hopefully it is someone who will continue on my journey with me in becoming the person I want to be.. If it wasn't for the people that I am constantly surrounded by I would never have gotten to the realization. I am also a true believer that things happen for a reason.
It is natural to have insecurities about ourself but it is also important to not let those insecurities define us. I am so grateful for all that I have been given and though the tough times aren't that fun I am glad that I can share my story with others. Even though it hard to share some feelings with others I am glad to know that my courage to do so may help someone else reading this.
To truly love oneself is sometimes a hard concept but it is reachable and I am so eternally grateful that when those feelings come up I can feel the loving arms of my heavenly father around me reassuring me that everything is ok and that I am amazing.
This race has made me want to improve and I won't lose sight of one day running a full marathon because I truly believe that anything is possible.
Much Love, Marathon Gal
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