the battle before me

There are often times in our lives that things don't always go as planned. We might face illness, have to deal with depression or might not win at some of life's races. This last week I had to deal with a event that I wasn't expecting. A dear friend-past boss of mine passed away after taking his own life. It was something that a lot of people were blind sided by. I had to remind myself to breathe at times as I was in such shock of the entire event. It was hard to come into work and see everyone so  weighed down by the after events of it all but on a positive note it was amazing to see everyone come together and support and encourage each other. Despite the hard times that have followed because of this sad event it has made me ponder about a lot of things.

When I attended Southern Utah University I had the great experience of being the student director of the women's center. I became involved in the program after one of my best friends had to go through the horrible experience of being raped. During my time of service there...there were several suicides that had happened to college students as well as some adults in the area. I had several people come into my center for support and to release some of the pain they were experiencing. It was really hard to process it all and know how I could help other people deal with something that frankly I didn't quite understand. I had to rely on my own personal experiences and at times the only thing I could think to do was to pray and seek out the extra support and strength that I needed in the hard time before me.

Since graduating from SUU I made it a goal and ambition of mine to help other people. I have worked now at a treatment center for adolescents for the past 4 years and it is probably the best decision that i have made. It has been both challenging and rewarding but it has kept me on my feet for sure. It is hard to understand why someone would take their own life and frankly I will never fully understand but the sweet assurance that I have found by this experience is that he is in a much happier place where he can be with his wife again. I am no one to judge and will never judge him for his decision but it is sad and it has had a huge effect on me and other people and we will have to grieve together for we are all dumbfounded by the experience and through this hard experience we will have to come together for support as well as blessing of knowing that there is life beyond this life and answers will be given there but until then we can't blame ourselves and we can only let the experiences of this life weigh us down to a certain extent.

I am so grateful for so much but the biggest thing I am grateful for is the sweet assurance that I have a Savior who died for me and he went through all the pains and afflictions of every human being and only he can truly understand what every human being faces. When life gets too hard to stand we can kneel down on our knees and be given the sweet comfort that we need in this life to go on.  I would be completely lost without the gospel and am so very grateful that I have it in my life. Yeah, this past week has been difficult but through every difficulty lies opportunity and that is what I have to remind myself all the time.

To all the people that are reading this: I love you and you are amazing and I will forever be grateful for your presence in my life. :)