Layton City Half Marathon

Well people it was a real challenge to run this race. I started off strong and felt really good but by mile number 3-4 I started to get pain in my knee a bit and then it continued on to my ankles. I was really worried about my back as I had hurt it a couple of weeks before but fortunately it held up for me and was fine but I did have to deal with some emotional struggles along the way.... When I ran this race last year it was my first half marathon ever. It was a huge milestone for me as it was right after I had lost 35 miles and I ran that race so confident and sore but today all the insecurities that I once felt before losing weight hit me like a ton of bricks. I was feeling really insecure, doubtful and at one point I didn't even want to finish.

I hated feeling those emotions and wasn't sure why I was feeling them. Maybe it was because physically I wasn't able to train as much as I normally do because of my back problems or maybe it was because the race represented more.

Everyone thinks that it is awesome that I lost weight  and that I run so many half marathons but running isn't just about getting medals and shirts and all the other bonus stuff that you receive but it represents my continued journey in truly becoming myself. Honestly, I know my weight lost story isn't over and that I have more to work on as I am not fulfilled with where I am at. I am continuing to push myself to be better.

I have learned something important and had a true realization about myself. I am proud to be a single 26 year old female. I know one day I will find my better half and hopefully it is someone who will continue on my journey with me in becoming the person I want to be.. If it wasn't for the people that I am constantly surrounded by I would never have gotten to the realization. I am also a true believer that things happen for a reason.

It is natural to have insecurities about ourself but it is also important to not let those insecurities define us. I am so grateful for all that I have been given and though the tough times aren't that fun I am glad that I can share my story with others. Even though it hard to share some feelings with others I am glad to know that my courage to do so may help someone else reading this.

To truly love oneself is sometimes a hard concept but it is reachable and I am so eternally grateful that when those feelings come up I can feel the loving arms of my heavenly father around me reassuring me that everything is ok and that I am amazing.

This race has made me want to improve and I won't lose sight of one day running a full marathon because I truly believe that anything is possible.

Much Love, Marathon Gal

why I run

I have been asked the question, Why do you Run a lot this past year and as some might think it is a quick answer to me it is a large one. When I was a teenager I hated to run. My father at the time was into running marathons and had ran 3 or 4…I thought he was crazy. I never understood how one could run for 26.2 miles and enjoy it…at the time running one mile was like pulling teeth. I remember vividly going on a run with my siblings and my father on a 2.5 mile run and having to stop probably 6 times along the way and ending the run disappointed in myself. I am a person who likes to succeed. I am competitive in nature but more with my self then  with others. I have struggled at times with my self- confidence and tend to be little myself when I should be building myself up. At a young age I didn’t struggle with weight problems…I was active and never wanted to stop. Life started to have struggles along the way though…moments where I didn’t quite know how to handle certain things such as grasping the reality that I had an older sister die before I was born  or having a best friend deal with the struggles of an eating disorder. At the time the only thing I thought would help was to eat…so I did. And through the years that continued whenever hard times came along such as family members dying or having heartbreak.

 I run because it has saved my life; it has restored the hope in myself that I once lost. It has given me the faith to see the person I truly am..there might be injuries  and exhaustion that come along with running half marathons and marathons but it is all worth it.  I run because why not. The best decision I make every day is tying my running shoes on to my feet because if I don’t make the first step than I won’t accomplish the miles ahead of me. We all have obstacles and mountains we have to climb but the only way that we can conquer the struggles ahead of us is to go straight through them. I might not be an expert runner who places at all the races but I am a runner who finishes what she started. Running might be a small thing to some people but to me it is one of the biggest things in my life that will never go away.

Running past the pain!

So this past week has been a bit discouraging in regards to my running. I pinched a nerve in my back at work the other day which made me not able to run at all. I was in a ton of pain  and feeling very discouraged.

I am so grateful to have so many inspiring and motivating people in my life who helped support and encourage me this past week. I felt the prayers of others around me and the pain began to go away. I still have a bit of pain in my back but it is't to the point of not being able to do the one thing I love the most.

I woke up this morning put on my new hot pink shoes and went running. I knew I better not push myself too much as I want to have a solid recovery and also be prepared mentally and physically for my next half marathon on the 29th. I ran 2 miles which didn't feel like an accomplish but then I realized it was 2 miles I wasn't able to run before so I did succeed. It is hard sometimes to not compare ourselves to other people for me I tend to do it sometimes with appearance or even related to running. I have a dream of running a full marathon but I tend to doubt my abilities and think that will never happen.

 Thanks to the idea from Josh Hansen I am going to begin to make a running journal..documenting the miles that I run, the mood I am in and maybe some randomness on the my journey that i will be sharing with you all on  my blog.

I am getting excited for the 29th and am excited for the experience of running the Layton City Half for the 2nd time. It was the first half marathon that I ran after losing 30pounds and this race symbolizes a lot for me. I often run my races for other people but this race is going to be dedicated to ME..all 13.2 miles are for me...It might be an emotional race but I am ready for the adventure.

take care!

the battle before me

There are often times in our lives that things don't always go as planned. We might face illness, have to deal with depression or might not win at some of life's races. This last week I had to deal with a event that I wasn't expecting. A dear friend-past boss of mine passed away after taking his own life. It was something that a lot of people were blind sided by. I had to remind myself to breathe at times as I was in such shock of the entire event. It was hard to come into work and see everyone so  weighed down by the after events of it all but on a positive note it was amazing to see everyone come together and support and encourage each other. Despite the hard times that have followed because of this sad event it has made me ponder about a lot of things.

When I attended Southern Utah University I had the great experience of being the student director of the women's center. I became involved in the program after one of my best friends had to go through the horrible experience of being raped. During my time of service there...there were several suicides that had happened to college students as well as some adults in the area. I had several people come into my center for support and to release some of the pain they were experiencing. It was really hard to process it all and know how I could help other people deal with something that frankly I didn't quite understand. I had to rely on my own personal experiences and at times the only thing I could think to do was to pray and seek out the extra support and strength that I needed in the hard time before me.

Since graduating from SUU I made it a goal and ambition of mine to help other people. I have worked now at a treatment center for adolescents for the past 4 years and it is probably the best decision that i have made. It has been both challenging and rewarding but it has kept me on my feet for sure. It is hard to understand why someone would take their own life and frankly I will never fully understand but the sweet assurance that I have found by this experience is that he is in a much happier place where he can be with his wife again. I am no one to judge and will never judge him for his decision but it is sad and it has had a huge effect on me and other people and we will have to grieve together for we are all dumbfounded by the experience and through this hard experience we will have to come together for support as well as blessing of knowing that there is life beyond this life and answers will be given there but until then we can't blame ourselves and we can only let the experiences of this life weigh us down to a certain extent.

I am so grateful for so much but the biggest thing I am grateful for is the sweet assurance that I have a Savior who died for me and he went through all the pains and afflictions of every human being and only he can truly understand what every human being faces. When life gets too hard to stand we can kneel down on our knees and be given the sweet comfort that we need in this life to go on.  I would be completely lost without the gospel and am so very grateful that I have it in my life. Yeah, this past week has been difficult but through every difficulty lies opportunity and that is what I have to remind myself all the time.

To all the people that are reading this: I love you and you are amazing and I will forever be grateful for your presence in my life. :)

My Favorite Things

Although it is random I felt today's post should be about my favorite things. So here it goes....

1.Watermelon
2. Fresh Pineapple
3. Snickers
4. Strawberry milk(after a long hot run)
5. Bananas and PB
6. Frozen Yogurt
7. Cookies and Cream : Favorite Ice Cream
8. Cinnamon Jelly Beans
9.  Swedish Fish
10. Nike Free Run Shoes
11. CEP compression socks
12. Bandanas
13. My awesome camera( loving capturing awesome moments in life)
14. Mexican Food( love me some Cafe Rio!)
15. Fruit Punch Gatorade( get tired of Lemon Lime from all the half marathons I do)
16. All my awesome medals from my half marathons
17. My Ipod( obsessed with music)
18. My Garmin watch
19. My bed after working all night!
20. All the awesome people in my life that make me laugh :)

Random Thoughts on Monday

I have been thinking a lot about this past year. Not just my weight loss journey but the people I have met and the experiences that I have been able to have. The main thing that I have learned is that I don't admire people just because of the weight that they have loss but the bigger picture of it all. They all have a strong sense of courage, dedication, patience and the heart to win which I admire more than anything.

I never thought that it would be possible to be able to run a half marathon and now I have ran 5! It is easy to get caught up in beating ourselves up when we don't achieve but it isn't worth it.

I always have doubted my abilities but I am so grateful for the people that have made me realize  that I can achieve anything. You never know maybe this girl will run a full marathon one day!

There have been people in my past who have made me question my worth and I let those opinions define me but the greatest blessing was when I realized it is better to build ourselves up then put ourselves down.

When I weighed 40 pounds heavier I was hiding from my potential but when I lost the blanket that I had around me for so long it was the biggest relief  I have ever felt.

I have so many heroes in my life especially this past year:
1. My Parents- they are amazing..from day one they have always pushed me to see my potential and made me always want to shoot for bigger and better things.
2. My sister Holly- always pushes me to reach for bigger and better things. Even before my weight loss journey she always made me feel beautiful.
3. My amazing friends: made me enjoy the simple things and always kept a smile on my face.
4. My running buddies: Angela- she is amazing she always reminds me that the most important thing is to finish what you get started and not get caught up in timing or how slow or fast you are.
Josh- what a rockstar! He has been a great motivation this past few months and I am glad that I have had the opportunity to meet him finally. He is a bit addicted to running but it has made me want to keep running. He is always so supportive too and always waits around for the slow runner that I am...I for sure don't run like a 18 year old :)
As there are so many more heroes in my life. the most important one is  My Heavenly Father. In the good and bad times I have had the great blessing to know that I can always get down on my knees and ask for comfort when I need it as well as thanking him for the journey that I have been through and the blessings that I have been given this past year.

I guess if someone were to ask me one thing that I would want to pass on to other people through my experience this past year it would be this....life is too short to make excuses. We often get caught up in the pressures of life that we loose sight of who we are and the potential that we all have human beings.  The most important thing to remember in a weight loss journey isn't the number on the scale...it is just a number the most important thing is who we become in the process. I have realized that through my running it isn't about how many times I finish a race it is the journey I go through to get to each finish line. Yeah it is awesome to get shirts and medals at the end of it all but for me it is the process.  Yeah I am proud to say that I have lost 40 pounds but I am more proud of being able to say that I have ran over 60 miles in races and have trained more than that as well.

My next goal is to achieve a PR at the Layton City Half Marathon and I feel that it is reachable.I just have to remind myself to slow down and listen to my inner self.

Love ya all :)

My Running Adventures

It has been a long time since I last posted so this might be a very random post of a lot of different adventures I have had. First, my last Half Marathon that I ran was the Farmington Days Half Marathon. It was a very difficult race for me as I had to work a grave shift the night before. I felt like my focus was off and I had a lot of negative self talk throughout the race. I did have a cool experience during the race. I was at mile 6 or 7 and I wasn't feeling motivated..I was at the point of wanting to give up and I just said a prayer in my heart that I needed some extra help. The next thing that I knew a girl that I had seen on the race came by me and told me...we will help each other...It was the motivation that I needed and was able to get a second wind and was able to finish. It was the longest that I had did in a half. It made my day to see not only Phat Josh at the finish line but my family rooting me along. I didn't really experience much pain from this race aside from my toe which is dealing with the fact that it will be losing a toenail soon! Since running this race I have made it a goal to improve my running. I will be running the Layton City Half Marathon for the second time this year. This race is very meaningful to me as it was my first Half I did last year when losing weight. I have made it a goal to improve my time by 20min...which would put me at a 2:34:00 time. I believe I can do it. I recently invested in a Garmin Forerunner watch which is probably the best investment in running I have made as it has helped me with my pace and has helped me to see the runner I truly am.  If you were to ask me a year ago if I would ever be excited to run half marathons I probably would tell you are you kidding me? But now I can't stop thinking about running. It is a thrill and a drive that has changed my life. Running has been a saving grace in my life and has shown me my potential. There were times in my life that I didn't have the strongest confidence and now I have the confidence to say that, " I am a runner." I am so grateful for the people that I have met while running and the motivation and inspiration they are to me.  To the people out there that don't believe they could ever achieve a goal...I will say this, The only thing holding you back is yourself...so stop making excuses and go after your dreams!